Should we have a fully vegan wedding?
A vegan wedding… say what?
What most of my couples struggle with is whether or not to have a fully vegan wedding. This is my piece about it - and spoiler alert, I think you should TOTALLY have a fully vegan wedding.
…If you are vegan
Don’t compromise your ethics for one day
Sure, it is just one day - and some will think it doesn’t weigh much. But of course, it does. Would you compromise them for a meal? Nope. So why would you do it for the “sake” of other people? If you wouldn’t pay for an animal to be killed to consume yourself, why would you pay for an animal to be killed for someone else to consume? It makes no sense.
Now, let’s go into an end-of-the-world scenario, because they usually help with rationalising and realising that actually, the catastrophe we are anxious about isn’t that much of a catastrophe (it’s a well-know technique to deal with anxiety). What is the WORST that could happen if you had a fully vegan menu?
some people would complain beforehand - no one would actually NOT come because you are having a plant-based menu. If they would, you would need to reassess their relationship with you, because that would not be a normal behaviour;
some people wouldn’t like it, or want it, on the day;
some of them might nip out to get other food at some point in your evening, or as they leave your wedding.
Let’s go over these and how to deal with them:
-some people would complain beforehand: don’t tell them. You have zero obligation to share your wedding planning with anyone. Share what you want, with who you want, and who you know will be supportive. You can also always start the conversation by telling them you need support, not complaints; that usually stops any attempt at stealing joy. Everyone has had a few vegan, or veggie, meals in their lives, and haven’t died of it (YET). They won’t make me believe they never had just a, or two, portions of chips for dinner;
-some people wouldn’t like it, or want it, on the day: their loss. Everyone has different tastes, whether they are vegan or not. Maybe they have not liked the animal-based menu at another wedding they went to; maybe they don’t like this spice, this vegetable, this type of cuisine; at the end of the day, it is quite unlikely everyone will absolutely love everything you’ve served, just because we all respond differently to different foods. And that’s okay, right? Who’s died of not eating what they want for one meal? NO ONE;
-some of them might nip out to get other food at some point in your evening, or as they leave your wedding: okay. I have done it myself, at weddings where there was no or close to no vegan food. I didn’t die, I didn’t tell the couple, I just had a bit of food before going to bed and that was it. Again, it wasn’t a traumatising experience.
The main pros
-you can have a plate full of all the food. Isn’t that amazing? No wondering what you can eat, no choosing, just getting EVERYTHING. And eating it all. That’s literally the best;
-being able to sample ALL THE FOOD that will be served. Menu sampling is one of the best bit of wedding planning, enjoy it as it should be done!
-having a fully vegan menu means that everyone who is vegan, vegetarian, egg-free or dairy-free, will be able to enjoy all the food, without worrying about what they can or can’t have, whether there’s been an error in the food they have been given. Plus CHOICE! People with dietary requirements are so used to not being properly catered for, it’s usually such a STRESS when you go to functions, and you’ll remove that stress from them. And give them all the options! Not only will they be able to eat, they’ll be able to choose. Without feeling like the odd one out, the one who is forgotten about, or who is an annoyance (I’ve been there, trust me, it’s very uncomfortable). Feeling included is just so freaking nice.
-you get to show non vegans how yummy plant-based food can be. Somehow a lot of them think it’ll be dull and uninspiring (I know I get a lot of people being a bit weird when I tell them all my cakes are vegan, as if I used spinach and kale instead of flour or something), so show them how eclectic and tasty it can be. Whether you want to have a relaxed buffet, or a fine three-course meal, make sure everything is made with good quality ingredients and the right seasoning.
-a pretty big positive point: you can support a small vegan business in doing so. Times can be very difficult for small businesses, so choose to spend your money wisely and ethically: if you book a fully vegan business, you are assured that no money you give them will be spent exploiting animals. Plus, I promise as a small business owner, every time I get a booking I sigh of relief. Trust me, that means the world to us, in a world where big chains offer more and more plant-based options just for profit, when we do it because we freaking believe and live by those values.
How to actually do it
This is a little bit of advice, gathered from listening to everything my couples have gone through during their own wedding planning:
-don’t tell who you think will not be supportive, or tell them that if you do decide to share anything about your wedding planning, you expect them to be kind and supportive rather than snippy and whiny (for no reason. It’s one day, and it’s yours).
-have different types of food so that people have a choice. You definitely want food that YOU love, so if your thing is Mexican food, have that - but maybe ask a couple of people to bring a couple of other options, or buy some ready-made pies. It’s awesome to make your guests try new things and new foods, but some people might struggle with going very far out of their comfort zone. As much as I love to eat tofu out of the pack, it’s not something I’d serve at my vow renewal, just because I do want people to enjoy themselves.
-make sure you have options that cater for everyone if there are other dietary requirements - gluten free, nut free and soya free.
-use it as an opportunity to educate people on why you made that choice. It will certainly help with them accepting it, and you might make some of them think about what they eat and why - and maybe even why they shouldn’t.
…If you are NOT vegan
Here are a few reasons to have a fully vegan wedding, even if you are not vegan:
-plant-based diets have been proven to be the most eco-friendly in terms of use of water and land. If you are yourself eco-conscious, and want your wedding not to be wasteful and not to have a bad environmental impact, definitely go for a vegan one;
-your guests who are themselves vegan, vegetarian, lactose-intolerant, dairy-free, egg-free, kosher, parve / Pareve, halal (apart from vegan alcohols) will all be able to eat any of the things you serve, without worrying about their requirements, and make them feel incredibly included (I cannot stress how grateful I am when I go somewhere and the person who has organised it has made sure I could eat EVERYTHING, instead of pointing out two different options. That’s how you make people feel valued!).
I hope this has convinced you that a fully vegan wedding is the way to go! Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you with your wedding planning ❤