How to support a couple who had to postpone their wedding

How to support a couple who had to postpone their wedding

We’re all suffering one way or another from this pandemic, but if you have friends or relatives who have had to postpone their wedding day, you can imagine that this is particularly hard on them.

Planning a wedding can become stressful but hopefully most of the process is enjoyable and couples get excited when thinking about their wedding day. Unfortunately, most of those who were planning it for 2020 have had to postpone their date - after planning it for 1, 2, or more years. Going from being excited to not knowing what is going to happen, how it will happen, whether it will happen - most of my couples have reported being really distressed by the whole thing.

To that, add the concrete additional steps and stresses of having to postpone your date: moving your whole supplier team, potentially having to find new suppliers, letting everyone know, dealing with your guests’ responses - it is a freaking lot. 


So I’ve written a little guide of how to support your friends who have had to postpone their wedding day - because you love them and you want to do what you can to make it as easy as possible for them.

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  • Do not ask them what’s going to happen until they have told you


You want to know what the plan is, and it’s completely understandable - but imagine that you are not the only one and getting messages from multiple people asking what is going to happen when they don’t necessarily know themselves is incredibly stressful and overwhelming.


  • When they have given you their new date, just RSVP factually, without added information


The new date might not be ideal for you - trust me, it’s not ideal for them to have had to postpone their day. Just keep that to yourself, and any other arrangements you have to make to be able to be there - they do not need any negativity or difficulties mentioned to them at this point.

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  • Let them know that you’re thinking of them on their original wedding date, without asking anything in return

If you message, make it clear you are not expecting a reply and you just want to say you love them and can’t wait to attend their wedding whenever it happens. 

You can also send them a little thing - one of my couples’ hens arranged a mini version of their wedding cake to be delivered to their home on their non wedding day.

 
Non wedding day cake
 


  • Don’t pretend like nothing happened

A lot of them feel like they can’t talk about their wedding because of the global pandemic and the guilt that things could be worse. Make it clear that if they want to talk, you are here in a kind, compassionate and non judgemental way.

  • On the other hand, don’t pressure them into talking about it

They might not be ready to, and that’s okay. Let them know you will be there if and when they are.

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  • Consider what it means to them

We are all grieving different things and for them right now, they are grieving their wedding day. Even if it will happen later, their planning and the leading up to it is not how it was supposed to be, and they are grieving. Treat them with the kindness and compassion that they deserve. Do not diminish what they’re going through.


  • When the pandemic is over

Make space for wedding excitement. Make your friends feel that you’resuper excited for their wedding, even if it is a year or whatever later. They deserve the feeling of leading up to the wedding - the last alterations, crafts, all the last minute things and giddy feelings - help them get back into that wedding feeling. They will need your support after all of this.

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I hope these ideas were helpful! Take care of your loved ones and speak about how you feel. Being open is how we make life easier.

Lots of love,

Tiny Sarah

Photo credits of my wedding: Assassynation

Mental health, Wedding planningTiny Sarah